Soundtrack To Our Life: Sharp Knife
“Someone I swear I’ll never be, who trades his dream for security.”
I was married to someone for about 3 years and I was so happy at first to have that life with someone, that security. Things began to fade and lots of alcohol was consumed by both of us on a daily basis. I slowly began to lose myself to make her happy. I stopped going out with friends to be with her because she got more and more jealous. I left my job working 911 as an EMT so could be more local and see her more and got a job that I grew to hate. I was going to school so I could achieve a degree to look better in her eyes. It seemed everything in my life was done for her and not me anymore. I think we both wanted so much out of the other person that just wasn’t there. Security was our glue, our safety net. During this time Ursa Major came out and that album gave me some peace in a world of chaos. I listened to it over and over.
Things began to crumble and we eventually went our separate ways. As I picked myself up from the floor, I began to realize that I did lose myself. I began to remember that I had dreams and every time I heard “Someone I swear I’ll never be, who trades his dream for security” it strengthened me. I began to recover and went to school for a dream of helping animals as a vet tech.
Then I met someone wonderful who loved me for me. She gave me a camera for my birthday about three or four years ago and it changed my life. I took photography classes and a couple years later it led me to concert photography. My passion and dreams have never been so monumental! I recently photographed Third Eye Blind in Sacramento and it was the most amazing thing I have done thus far besides marry my best friend a year ago! I will never in my life trade my dreams for security again! This line will carry me every step of the way going forward.