I Still Want You: An Expert Response
3EB Expert Brittney Chamberlain was asked to choose one lyric that describes her life in the present moment. Then, we asked her to create something from that. She chose they lyrical phrase, “happenstance set the vibe that we are in” and below is her reason why...
I've waited 20 years for my most favorite love song to have a personal meaning. I can't even imagine the number of times that I have listened to Track 11 from the debut album. There have been 7,418 days since the release of the album to today. So, I'll be realistic here and guess that the number of times listened is probably somewhere around 15,000. I know every line, every beat, every chord.
I have had romantic relationships, really significant relationships, in the last 20 years. Not one of which connected to "I Want You" on any kind of level. Until now.
I dated Kenny in high school. In fact, he was my Y2K New Years kiss. My favorite kiss. Through the rest of high school after the break up, through college and young adulthood, all the way up to getting to kiss him again nearly 17 years later, he remained the most memorable make out session of my life. I give him all sorts of credit for leaving his mark on my heart and creating the forever soft spot that holds his name.
Life happened. A really bad blow up with my college boyfriend led to me in the Emergency Room with several stitches on my brow bone. Having the connection with third eye blind already well established by that point, "Wounded" became my anthem. To this day, the hair on the back of my neck stands up when I hear it. This past Christmas, Kenny gifted a framed lyric print of "You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air." His acknowledgment of the incident and subsequent recognition of my anthem nearly knocked the wind out of me. For the first time, someone appreciated the emotional recovery from the abuse rather than pitying the victimization.
We were supposed to see 3eb in Kansas City in December, but due to an unpredicted ice storm, we were stuck (on the interstate, legitimately scared for our wellbeing) in St. Louis. Once the terror of the icy car ride wore off, the disappointment of missing the show set in. I was crushed, he knew it, and promised that if we had to get on a plane to see them in the next year, that's exactly what we would do. This "I Want You" song was starting to feel a whole lot like my love song for him.
He surprised me on Valentine's Day with tickets to the Vegas Summer Gods show. 1413 miles away from home. We were front row in the pit at the Saint Louis show and had balcony seats in Vegas. He got me. It was all coming together. He didn't 'just get me,' he had gotten me all along. I was 14, he was 16... then all of the sudden I'm 31, he's 33. How in the actual hell had we not been together since Y2K?
--People always take a step away from what is true, that's why I like you around... I want you.--
I'll tell you why. The universe works in a funny way. Had we stayed together, he would have never had Madeleine, the most perfect little girl with just the right mix of silly and sweet. And I wouldn't have had Calvin & Crosby, unintended but never unwanted, spitfires with the kindest little hearts.
HAPPENSTANCE SET THE VIBE THAT WE'RE IN
Literally, our connection never faded, even though our choices led us in separate directions. We went so many years without seeing each other, but remained friends with the occasional social media interaction. When we reconnected last year, it didn't take long for us to find our groove. This boy, who held the top spot for a teenage girls heart, had turned into the man that would give a woman the most beautiful life: A family of five, happily blended, with the rest of our lives to look forward to. Finally, the universe gave me a real reason to sing my song.
There will be no regrets when the worms come.