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Never Letting Go

Never Letting Go

When you listen to “Never Let You Go” you most people have happy memories and enjoy the upbeat melody and lyrics.

I have a lot of happy memories related to this song as well, the most recent being my three-year-old singing it at the top of her lungs while it played in the car.

However, this song also brings up an uncomfortable time of my life when “I’ll Never Let You Go” was not a good thing...

 Courtsey Ali Kery-Hanewicz

Courtsey Ali Kery-Hanewicz

I dated the same guy for most of high school and through college, we were inseparable, and he was liked by all my friends and family, that is until he cheated on me after seven years. It was a messy breakup and he and I went our separate ways. After a few months I was ready to move on, if he could do it, so could I. I was 22 and enjoyed going out with my friends, but hadn’t met anyone that I was interested in. At the time internet dating was becoming more popular and, with prompting from my mother, I decided to create a profile on yahoo personals, just to see what would happen. I was quickly contacted by several guys, however only a few seemed to want to have a relationship. I went on a few dates, but nothing really worked out, there was no chemistry. That is until I met Chris, he was sweet, charming, and wanted a serious relationship. He also had been to culinary school, and was currently working as a personal trainer, everything a 22-year-old girl is looking for.

Chris and I spoke every day for two weeks before I agreed to meet him. He lived a half-hour from me and I insisted on driving to his town to meet for coffee on our first date. Our first date went smoothly, and Chris was just as sweet and charming in person as on the phone, so I quickly agreed to a second date. We went to the movies and once again he was a perfect gentleman. For our third date I agreed to go to his apartment to watch a movie, this is when I started to get an uneasy feeling. When I arrived at his apartment he was still sweet and charming, but he started to show some signs of being overly possessive. While at his apartment one of my guy friends called me, and he immediately began asking questions about who was on the phone, and why were they calling me when we were together. I calmly brushed it off, but he responded with “my woman isn’t going to talk to other guys.” I responded by stating I was not “his woman” and that this is only our third date. He apologized and quickly turned on the charm. After another half-hour I made an excuse and went home.

I agreed to go on one more date with Chris, despite having an uneasy feeling. Before our date he called me numerous times, a few when he was drunk professing his love for me. Our fourth and last date again was at his apartment, he made me dinner and we watched a movie. At this point he told me he had a son, and that I would be the perfect mother for him. He also had friends stopping over every hour or so to give him money for random things. I was beginning to feel more and more uneasy and felt like he was hiding something. As I was leaving that night he told me he was going to marry me, and “never let me go.”

Never Letting Go.jpg

We talked a few more times after that, but I ultimately told him I didn’t think it was going to work out. Immediately the sweet and charming Chris was gone, and he became extremely angry yelling “you will marry me,” “I’ll never let you go.” I stopped all communication with Chris, but he continued to call me and leave me messages professing his love for me and continually stating “you’ll marry me, wait and see.” The phones calls continued for weeks, and then he started showing up at places where I was. I had never told him my address, but he did know what town I lived in and what bars and clubs I went to with my friends. One of the scariest times was when he showed up at a gas station about a block from my house when I was pumping gas alone and walked right up behind me and hugged me. He had a friend with him and stated, “this is my future wife.” Luckily his friend had to go somewhere so they had to leave. After that phone calls continued with him often stating “I saw you pumping gas today,” “I saw you at the bar, who was the guy you were dancing with?” “I told you I’ll never let you go.”

Things finally came to head when he approached me at a club when I was with a bunch of my friends. I had been sharing what was going on with my friends and they were aware of who he was. My guy friends are fiercely protective and immediately stepped in when he came over and grabbed me. After that he stopped contacting me and I moved on with my life. I haven’t heard from him since, though one day I did have a random red rose and note on my car with a heart on it, and no one I know confessed to it, I often wonder if it was from him.

Third Eye Blind Ink: Jessica Morrison

Third Eye Blind Ink: Jessica Morrison

Music Monday: Mike Masse

Music Monday: Mike Masse

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