I've Never Been So Alone.
Who was I then? A 19 year old with an abusive boyfriend.
His dad worked for a local paper writing music reviews.
He often got CDs from up and coming bands.
I was “encouraged” in 1997 to listen to those CDs. One of those CDs was Third Eye Blind’s first album. I fell in love with it, because it was the only thing I could do that he couldn’t control. I listened to that CD every chance I got. One song in particular tugged at my soul- “How’s It Going To Be.” I had been in this relationship for about 2 years when that song smacked me in the face one day and basically said to me, “Wake up, Stupid!” How would my life be? Would I be happy? Would I finally be confident? Would I be scared? It took a few months of not answering phone calls, avoiding him at all costs- but I did it. December of 1997 was my 20th birthday and my new beginning.
The Fall semester of 1998 was amazing! I was Free!! I was rejuvenated! I had cut my hair! I was enjoying myself! I had already seen Third Eye Blind in concert in Philadelphia and was excited about my senior year in college. Then the announcement came! Third Eye Blind would be performing at my college for their Campus Invasion Tour. It was a sign! I joined the Concert Committee and worked my ass off helping to build their stage. What an experience. And to top it all off, I got a picture and autographs by the end of the night.
Who am I now? A 39 year old (mostly) confident woman. I love listening to Third Eye Blind and seeing them perform. When I listen to “How’s It Going To Be,” I get transported to that scared 19 year old- but just for a moment. Third Eye Blind’s music and lyrics saved me. They helped me become the person I am today and I am beyond thankful and grateful for that.