The Young Urban Psychopath

“You see these girls coming to the shows and they are really quite gorgeous and they have the whole black getup on and they’re proclaiming their love for you with this empty look in their eyes and the terrifying thing is that I can’t tell if I’m killing them or saving them.”

I highly doubt I would be met with challenge when I say music is an integral part of life -- and a very integral part of life is love. To the core, Third Eye Blind is synonymous with love. Whether it be a heartbreaking ballad like “The Background” or a more catchy, sounds-like-summer song (read: “Semi-Charmed Life”), within each album, a love story is being told.

It’s truly a feat when you come upon a band that can actually change your life. And not only change your life – but save it as well. We live in a world where instant gratification is no longer a luxury, but a necessity. Nobody seems to have much time for real in-depth face to face conversation. With social media emerging as an all-encompassing entity, social interaction has dwindled in certain areas and has left many people throwing whatever they can into this newly found bottomless hole inside of themselves. Anything to feel less alone; alcohol, drugs, sex, etc., and while Stephan sings about all of these things, it’s his music that has saved me. Found its way through my eardrums, into my brain, and has spread through my veins to overflow my personal “pit.”

Music has always been my best friend, what I turn to celebrate happiness, what I hide inside of when life brings me to my knees. But it wasn’t until I heard the music of Third Eye Blind that I could consider music as my savior. Throughout my life and specifically my early teenage years, I was completely isolated by my own mind and the demons that relentlessly mocked me. I didn’t understand why I was always on the outskirts of humanity, looking in at everyone living their lives with more grace than myself. Truly I believed everyone was in on a secret but me.

Courtesy: Third Eye Blind

Third Eye Blind came into my life at a very pivotal time. I was 16 and on the verge of multiple breakdowns. It’s always been extremely exhausting for me to make friends, so without being able to spill my guts to someone, it never occurred to me that I wasn’t the only person struggling. The song that grabbed at my heartstrings was “Slow Motion.” It’s atmospheric, dark but sweet sound captured my soul. The lyrics are so parallel to the way I had lived my life specifically the line, “...and her nose starts to bleed the most beautiful ruby red.” It perfectly described the war I was waging on myself, a war I fell in love with. I felt attached to and glamorized my misery and although I no longer long for sadness; it was a time where my sadness was all I knew. Hearing Stephan beautifully sing the words that could have been written about me made me feel whole. I might have been miserable but finally, I knew I was not alone in my misery.

There’s a phrase they use in Alcoholics Anonymous; “terminally unique.” You don’t want to be this kind of unique, where you feel you are the only one suffering and it feels fruitless to even try to explain it to anybody. I don’t have to explain it; Third Eye Blind explains it for me. They made sense of a very scattered head in a very shattered girl.

My saviors.