Soundtrack to my Life: Danger

"Tomorrow's mundane. All good things must end. And the cops told the crowd they must disperse." 


It all started at a very low time in my life, I was dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety and definitely not knowing how to deal with it. After some therapy that I didn't take seriously, I was prescribed your typical anti-depressant and also an anti-anxiety medication most of you either know it by its name Ativan (generically known as Lorazepam) and also a sleeping pill Ambien (generically known as Zolipidem).

Together they made me feel fearless, self confident, and relaxed. I guess technically I was high, but I didn't look at it that way. It helped me be me and I wasn't going to stop for anyone. I knew deep down as I went on with it longer and longer taking more and more than the prescribed dosage that I had a problem.

I started getting these pills prescribed in two other people's names, while my mom was the one doing the prescribing. Not exactly parent like, but she knew it would keep me satisfied and she thought she could control it if she knew how much I was taking.

I was tipped off by a friend's family member who worked at a pharmacy, that the DEA had been around asking questions about the prescriptions that I had been filling and picking up. Luckily, that alone had scared me into going to get help. While I didn't actually go into rehab, I went to a psychiatric unit and they detoxed me and kept me there for awhile. They also put me on the correct non-narcotic medications.

A few weeks after being released from the unit, I get a knock at the door. He was a DEA agent and talked his way in through my door by threatening me if I didn't talk, that he would go get a warrant for my arrest that day.

I had explained the situation to him thinking it would all go away. I thought it did - but unfortunately, I was wrong. He was on a mission to do some arresting and that's what he did - even after I had been clean for months.


At 8:20 a.m. on December 3, 2015, I woke to a loud pounding at the door and on the windows I could hear "Open up! Police!" my heart was racing. I couldn't think - let alone go open the door. I took a deep breath ran downstairs and opened the door before everyone in the neighborhood was standing out on the porch trying to see what was going on.

There were about 7 cops/agents. When I opened the door he said, "I'm here to arrest you," kind of in a cocky way. I was scared to death having not ever been in this situation and not knowing what will happen. So many questions ran through my head: Was i going to jail? How long would I be there? What happens now? They allowed a female cop to escort me to my room to let me put on clothes and try to look somewhat presentable. I had to keep my hands up the entire time, so I guess I wouldn't pull a gun or anything. The cop had to put a sweater and pants on me.

It was December and very cold. We went back downstairs and they got out their handcuffs and handcuffed me. They took me out and sat me in the cop car and took me to the magistrate's office to stand before a judge.

They charged me with 4 felonies: 1) Possession of a controlled substance by means of fraud or misrepresentation 2) Criminal conspiracy to possess a controlled substance 3) Acquiring a controlled substance by means of fraud or misrepresentation and 4) Criminal conspiracy to acquire a controlled substance by means of misrepresentation or fraud. This was basically the same charge 4 times. Luckily, I was free that day with unsecured bail set at $25,000.00. As soon as I got home, I called my lawyer. Little did I know, it was going to take almost 2 years to finally get this resolved.



The day after the arrest it hit the newspapers. I live in a small town where everyone knows each other and people talk even though most are doing the same things behind closed doors. Half of the articles aren't even correct, but I guess they had to do what they had to do to get their headlines and make this DEA agent and Attorney General's office look like saints.

A few months earlier the Attorney General for Pennsylvania was arrested herself and discharged from office and sent to prison for perjury, conspiracy, and obstruction of justice. I cant lie, it was nice seeing her name in headlines instead of mine.

Out of the 4 charges, I ended up pleading guilty to 1 felony (criminal conspiracy to possess a controlled substance by means of fraud) which meant no jail time. My sentence included multiple fines, a license suspension, and 3 years probation. I definitely got off easy, as it could've been much worse.

Even though it was probably the worst time in my life, I have always had music to help me through it. Whether its playing or listening, it has always been there.

Thank you Third Eye Blind, you have truly saved my life. I know whatever I face in my life, this band and their music will always have my back and be there for me. Today, I have been clean from those pills for 2 years and 4 days.

Thank you all for reading! God Bless and rock on!